Sunday, November 2, 2008

random

my school has started for 1 month plus
what do i think?
so far so good
as the timetable is not as pack as i thought it is
but
nowadays
especially the "incident" that i had
my mentality is not stable (i m not saying that i m crazy)
is just that
my mood ll change in a sec
i ll feel sad for no reason
i ll feel confused out of sudden
i ll lost my direction and started to question myself why am i here
i ll be thinking what am i doing
and these are happening to me more and more often
starting last wed
i have been questioning myself
i have been trying to convince myself that everything is okay
God is looking after me
and
thats the point which i have diff kind of mood at diff time
cause i m trying to adjust myself
few hrs ago
when i just found out that my works are piled up
and i have to sort them out
i feel like escaping
i dont want to face it
since when i become so weak?
somehow
i hope i can have a mental breakdown
just to make me feel better
at times
i hope i can grab on someone
this is when my desperate state comes
i need shoulders which are wide and warm

eagle wings
this song perfectly describe how i feel right now
i want to feel His presence
which nowadays
i cant really feel Him
which makes me even worse
i am scared that He ll just leave me here
yet
on one side
i know that He ll always be my fortress and my rock!

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chocolate martini
my first alcoholic drink
which turns out to be a disaster
i can really make a conclusion
I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND why there would be so many of them like ALCOHOL!!
they just dont taste nice!!!

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a Mar was not there lah
so no castle can be built in the air

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i have somehow
figured out how to fix my sleeping prob (well hope it ll work)

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i dont looking forward for this coming tuesday
can we just omit that day?

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is time to get back to my books:)

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another dream
is going to be kept in the inner part of my memories
i m just going to leave it in a place
which i couldnt find it

0 sunflowers: