i believe

i have been a spoilt teenager who is going to be an adult in a year for these past few days!

i still remembered how i promised God after the challenge He has put me in
i still remembered how determined i am

now i m very scared
seriously
i m very scared

there is this unspoken feeling deep down in my heart
it has started to bud and grow
i m really a spoilt child (or whatever you want me to be)
i do not trust myself anymore
those promises that i have made
those determinations

i feel moody
i feel like i m being caged by myself
actually i look down on me

i m scared

this melody
tells how i feel now
tells you my feeling right now

the title is I believe

yes
i should believe in God
but i started to question myself
do i deserve to being able to believe in God
when what i have done has totally disappointed Him

these few days
this thought keep on occurring in my mind
what can we do for God
what has caused us to qualified for God to forgive us
cause
we always ask for forgiveness after we have sinned
is like
this is a cycle which ll never end
we sin then we ask God to forgive
we disappoint God
then we ask Him to trust us again
He loves us and He choose to forgive us
what we have done to deserve His unlimited Love!!

His love is so great untill i cannot imagine
untill i couldnt believe that He actually loves us that much
i feel sad
as in
what have i paid Him back in return for His love?
nth but sin
nth but pleading
yes!!
really nth!!

and
can you imagine how "thick" is my face is
though i have sinned and disappointed Him
yet
i m still asking for His forgiveness
i m still asking for His mercy upon me

and now
i get fed up on myself
how selfish i m!!

i m scared Lord!
i know
again i m asking for your mercy
but You are my rock and stone
You are my fortress
for You ll forever be there
open your hands widely
welcoming us!
no one but You
can i trust and cast my burden and hope on You

so Lord
i just pray that
may Your mercy be upon me!

I believe in Jesus Chirst the Son of God!
yes I believe!!
this song is moody
this song represent how i feel on my own as in how much i have hurt God!
this song shows how scared i m now!

God!
i m scared
i want to stay underneath Your wings!!